Current Facebook Status:

Tonight, on "WHEN NESTING ATTACKS":
I wonder how long it would take me to put the crib together if I started now...

Pregopotomus

I like this:

http://www.theinsanedomain.com/Articles/lists/beingpregnant.htm

Don't Forget To Get...

This is not a plea for stuff, it's a reminder list for me while I'm on the internet of all the baby stuff I need to get/research/eventually maybe register for. Man there's a lot of stuff for babies. I know that a lot of stuff is more "Want/Convenience" than essential to survival (which is the main goal), but if a couple pieces of plastic (that I can always resell in a yard sale in two years) can make my life easier, why not? As long as I've got the essentials: Food, shelter, warmth, place to put baby... We'll be fine, but these are useful things I've been thinking of and want to "write" down somewhere.

• Wet Bag
• Diaper Pail
• Pail Liner
  
• Regular trashcan
• Bathtub (David will probably want the one with the whale face on it)
• Baby wash/lotion
  
• Mesh bag to contain bitsy socks in the dryer
• BABY CLOTHES HANGERS. At first I scorned them, but after yesterday's sort-fest, I think I need a couple packs.
• Uuuuum...baby grooming kit?
  
• Receiving blankets in which to burrito the baby (if she's into that).
  
• Bottles and their accessories
• Bottle brush
• Bottle Drying rack?
  
• OOOh!!! That little basket that goes in the dishwasher that keeps all your little plastic pieces from blowing all over.
• Some kind of clothesline/drying rack for the porch
• An emergency pacifier or two.
• Prefold diapers
• More Diaper Covers
• Snappis
• Baby Bedding
• Decorations for baby room (a whole 'nother post)
• Bookcase/shelf for baby's room. If she's anything like me (and I've already begun collecting them for her), books will be an important staple in her life. Besides, Mommy needs a place to rest her beer while she's reading to the baby. HA!

Alone and (a Half) in "Paradise".

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to rain on anyone's parade, or accuse anyone of anything. I'm just trying to get my feelings out of my head and chronicle baby/pregnancy happenings. Honestly.
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This baby shower thing is REALLY upsetting me. I don't know if I'm going to have one. I don't know who would throw it for me. You're not supposed to throw your own. If I could, without looking bad, I would. Then it wouldn't worry and upset me so much, because I wouldn't have to wonder if I have any friends that are close enough to WANT to have one for me. I wish I was home. I *know* I have friends there, and I know SOMEONE would care enough to offer. I've had an acquaintance or two say "I'll make sure SOMEONE throws you a shower" but am I supposed to bank on that?

Am i SUPPOSED to ask someone to throw me a shower? Someone PLEASE tell me if that's the case, it would take away lot of worry and stress. I feel so stupid. And friendless... I have plenty of "friends" here, I guess, but I don't have a best friend. I miss Charleston SO BADLY right now. We could have a big ol' pig pickin' or rent the deck of a restaurant like Creekside, and it'd be fun and beautiful, overlooking the marsh and water and people would come and celebrate the baby. Nice dream, huh?

I also don't know WHEN it would be. There are two ladies from our boat due to have their babies soon AFTER I am, and one of their showers is going to be in late August or September! They have their reasons, which are perfectly valid, but it makes me feel even more left out. They're already planning it. I don't even know if I'm going to HAVE a shower. It's really hurting my stupid feelings and really upsetting me that they're already planning it (out loud and in front of everybody). It's probably just my hormones going crazy, but I've been crying for almost 45 minutes about it. I guess the only shower I'm having is the kind created by my face. Ha. Ha.

I don't know what to do, or what I can possibly say... Or who I'd say it to. I don't know what to do to fix this so it won't asplode me anymore.

Not Too Much To Report, But I Can Always Find Things To Say...

23wks 5d

Everything seems to be going well. I'm trying to follow up on some stuff with various doctors at Tripler who are IMPOSSIBLE to get hold of on the phone, and it'd be a huge pain in the ass to go up there in person to track 'em down because I don't know what floor they work on, or what shifts they work, but believe me, if I haven't heard anything by Wednesday, that's where you'll find me- rampaging the halls of Tripler Army Medical Center (and by rampaging, I mean angrily waddling), trying to find the people with the answers.

That said, depending on those answers, I will know if/when I can fly to the states this summer, and if/when I can really start planning that. I'll keep all interested parties back home informed when there's any new information.

I go in for my "20 week" ultrasound tomorrow, and if they tell me it's a boy in there, I'm probably going to throw a fit. Ever since a friend of mine told me about her sister (or cousin, or mailman, or landlady, or former gym teacher's assistant... basically, it was anecdotal) whose baby was consistently labeled the same sex in every ultrasound, and then turned out to be the opposite gender when born... I've been a little leery of each and every ultrasound. [Insert prize for longest run-on sentence EVER here]. This one's at Tripler and not TomorrowToday, so I'm extra wary that they might give us a different result. And by us, I mean me, 'cuz I'll be soloing for the next 3-ish months. Stupid Deployment. I try not to make too big a deal about it 'cuz David gets a special time-out from Deployment (to come home when the baby is born), so I don't want to make a big deal out of the shorter time that we're apart and make any of the other wives that don't get to see their husbands early jealous or upset. I am aware that we are extremely lucky that he gets the chance to come home for the baby. The time that we're apart still sucks majorly though. I miss him so much sometimes. I'm keeping busy, and I'm doing ok, but I do wish he were here. :(

I got a super sweet, funny email from David yesterday. He called the baby "our little chick, because I think that's what baby penguins are called" (inside joke, but it make me squeal with laughter and glee. I miss him so much).

We're still going around and around about names. Why can't I like anything he suggests??? Is it a control thing? Is it because I automatically think that everything he likes is too girly, just because I know those are the kind of names he likes? What is the deal? I need to figure this out, because it's not fair (to him) and this is important. I don't know. I'm sure I'll be fine with whatever when end up agreeing on, but I'm having trouble agreeing. Even to the suggestions that originate from ME.

Other than all of that... Things are moving along just swimmingly. Get it? 'cuz she's swimming... nevermind. :P

Letter to (Baby).

Dear Baby Awesome Powers,

I cannot wait for you to meet your daddy. He is away right now, while you are growing (and kicking) inside of me, but he will be back for your triumphant arrival into the world. He is very excited that you are going to join our family! I gave him a laminated copy of your ultrasound printout, from 17 weeks. He carries it in the right front pocket of his work coveralls, and he says he shows it to everyone. He says, "That's my little girl!" He loves you so much already. I think you like the voice message he made especially for you. I play it for you and you kick!kick!kick! at the headphones.

Your daddy is a wonderful man. He's really smart, and he's funny, and he's very good at showing that he loves. He doesn't hold anything back. He's hard working, and he does a good job providing for us. He likes to have fun and be all kinds of silly, too! He already loves you so much. He was so happy and completely astonished when I got to tell him you would be joining us in October. If you come a few days early, you could even share a birthday! Or not, that's cool with us too, just don't take too long in there, because Daddy has to go back to work in November for a while. He'll be home for Christmas though, and then you two can really start to get to know each other.

I can't wait to see him holding you. The thought of tiny little you in his big strong arms just fills me with so much anticipation and joy. I can't wait for you two to begin your very special relationship. I hope he doesn't spoil you *too* much... I know he's already excited about teaching you to be an independent little miss (like your mama, haha). He's already talking about teaching you how to take care of your own car and about teaching you Algebra!! I think you two are going to be great together.

Love,
Mama (Awesome) Powers

Little Miss BOSSY.

Current FB Status:

KICK-KICKKICK!! Little Miss is getting bossy already! Guess it's time for lunch, eh?

She kicks me a lot when I first wake up, if it's later than usual (Read: 9-ish instead of 7:30). She settles down after I've eaten. But, based on the seriousness of her kickings, it's about time for lunch, APPARENTLY.

If you're good, we'll even have a popsicle!

:]

So Far...

Current Facebook Status:

Little girl likes: Popsicles, Frostys from Wendy's, Disturbed, Stone Sour and the Dropkick Murphys. Little girl dislikes: Dopplers (fetal heart monitors), Ultrasounds.

Le sigh.

I really need to work on my posture. My upper back/shoulder blades area has been killing me lately, on and off. The pain *lessens* when I sit up straight, but I always forget, and slouchity-slouch, it hurts again. Maybe the pain can be a reminder to NOT DO THAT... Gonna give it a try today and tomorrow at work.

And by work, I mean the volunteer position I took to keep me busy and give me a rason to leave the house every couple of days! It's been GREAT so far, but this week is super-super busy, so here's hoping that it doesn't wear me out too much! At least I'm not driving all the way out to Ewa Beach and back anymore!

You Know How I Know I'm Pregnant? Part 4.

I was researching the military Space-A flights, and saw Charleston Air Force Base as an option in a drop down menu and got all choked up and teary.

I want to go home so bad during this Deployment, but I just don't think it would be as enjoyable as I dream.

• Where would I stay? My mom's house? Not a very enjoyable option. It's set far enough out of Charleston proper that I might get into Charleston 3 times if I stay for a week. Not to mention the added emotional stresses. If I stay anywhere else, my mom will be terribly hurt, and that isn't something I want to deal with either. ::sigh:: So say I found somewhere else to stay for a week or two...

• How would I get around? There's the bus system, but I know for a fact it doesn't go to the beach. Any of them.

• Who would I see? Most of my friends have moved on, moved out. Three of my best friends are still there, but two more live in Phili, one in Oklahoma, and one in the LA area. And they all have lives, haha.
  

I guess I want to go back to the past. The Charleston I grew up in, the Charleston I lived in during college where there were friends abounds, and I could walk all over the city and I could get around and go where I want. It would be the most amazing 2 weeks... Who's got a time machine?

Interesting article.

I already feel this beginning, and I don't like it at all. Your way might be better for YOU. My way might be better for ME. That doesn't necessarily mean that your way works for me, or vice versa.

http://www.momlogic.com/2010/06/why_cant_us_moms_just_all_get_along.php

And as far as I'm concerned, that goes for personal feelings about pregnancy as well.

Daddy's Message

David recorded a voice clip for me to play for the baby on our headphones while he's deployed, and I listened to it for the first time just a minute ago, and it is the sweetest thing ever, it made me tear up. I put my phone's speaker on my tummy, and I could feel her kicking at it while it played.

He says he can't wait to meet her. He says he loves her. He says for the baby to be nice to me, haha. Then he said to grow strong, and then goodbye.

I could hear his voice cracking. I know that he loves this baby, his daughter, and that reassures me that we'll be alright.

I laminated one of the ultrasound pics (the 17 week one) and he carries it around in his shirt pocket, he says he's made everyone on the boat look at it!

I can't wait for him to be a daddy. He's going to be amazing.